Two Under Two: When Does It Get Easier?

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I’ve seen so many mamas ask, “I’ve got two under two, when does it get easier?”. This is more than just learning how to survive the newborn stage.

You’ll find many different answers to this question. Some moms say it’s when one is potty trained or they’re both out of diapers.

Others have said that it’s when they go to school.

As a mom who has two children 18-months apart, I can answer that for you.

It gets easier the older your children get and I would say that it was a lot easier by the time my youngest was 1-year old.

Don’t let that timeframe scare you though! It gets easier all the time but I noticed the biggest change around that time.

There are reasons for that which I’m going to talk to you about further on and how you can also make it easier on yourself.

When Does Having Two Under Two Get Easier?

I think it’s fair to say that having two under two gets easier the older they get. Most moms will attest to that but you don’t want to spend your time wishing the moments away just because now is difficult.

Hard is not the same thing as bad.

@m.is.for.mama

Sometimes knowing that the difficult times won’t last forever can help you relish in the crazy times a little more.

I know that this was the case when I had newborns. With the birth of each of my children I enjoyed them all the more because I knew that there would be an end to the sleepless nights and endless feeds.

However, when it is your first time going through an experience (like having two under two), you don’t know when the hard will end and you can be forgiven for feeling defeated.

The truth is, the hard changes and you adapt and you don’t always feel as though you’re drowning in overwhelm.

So, here are some of the things that made a difference and made things easier when I had two under two.

When Sleep Is More Consistent

This is a hot-button topic because there are firm camps when it comes to baby sleep and belief processes around it.

Personally, I’m firmly in the camp of routines and schedules.

I don’t regiment my babies but I do encourage full feedings and an eat, wake, sleep cycle from birth.

It is a spiral process but oh boy does it make a difference in our home!

You can read more about the sleep training methods that I’ve used here.

The good thing that I’ve found is that you can generally make it so that both your toddler and baby nap at the same time at least once per day.

It can take time to get to this point but it will make a world of difference to your mindset when you get at least one hour during the day when you can eat or take a shower without interruption.

I talk more about how to survive having two under two in this post and there are a bunch of practical tips that I’ve personally used.

When Your Older Child Can Help More

Yes, you read that right. Your older child can help you out.

Trust me, when you have a little toddler who is dying to show they’re a big kid and so will willingly help you out, it is amazing!

I used to have my son go grab a diaper or wipes when I had my hands full.

He was also good at putting things in the washing basket or trash if I needed him to.

And then there were the times where he’d pick up the paci I had dropped or grab a burp cloth.

Honestly, they can be such great little helpers and it really helps them feel included and less inclined towards jealousy about the new baby.

At first, they may be a bit little to do much but even just a month can make a world of difference when they’re that little.

I found it so helpful when the baby was fussing and I couldn’t get there straight away, I’d ask my toddler to talk to his little sister and so often it would work really well to calm her enough to stop her from being frantic.

When Your Older Child Is Potty Trained

I hate potty training with a capital H. Seriously. It is my least favorite transition ever.

However, it is a means to an end and that end can be pretty fantastic especially when you have two under two.

I have three kids now and am just starting to potty train my youngest. It is incredible to only have one in diapers after having ALL THREE in them at one stage.

You can read my potty training tips here, but you should know that it is worth all the work and effort that you put it.

It does make things easier in the end.

In saying that, if you find that it is overwhelming you and causing more stress than it’s worth, feel free to put the brakes on and try again in a few months.

There’s no race to the finish and every family situation is different.

Once Your Children Can Play Together

This is it. This is the big one that made all the difference for me.

Once my littlest one was old enough to properly play with her older brother, it was a GAME CHANGER.

I don’t think that moms of one child realise how much effort they have to put into entertaining their child because they don’t have a playmate there.

Seriously, having a sibling for your child to play with takes a lot of the workload away.

It meant that I didn’t have to be the constant source of entertainment and it was wonderful to see their relationship develop.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m not the “entertain your kid” type of mom. I’m a firm believer in the benefits of letting your kids be bored and I basically never set up activities for them to do.

We have a backyard, they have toys and craft supplies, that is MORE than enough to keep their little minds busy.

However, there is a difference between a baby and a toddler when it comes to keeping them entertained and babies are hard.

There’s only so much you can do with them.

Once they take an interest in their older sibling and can interact with them, it will make your days easier.

Your Mindset Matters

It would be foolish of me not to mention this for at least a moment because it is so important.

While things will get easier with time, your mindset also matters.

Allowing negative thoughts in will definitely make things more difficult so be aware of when you’re allowing into your mind.

Speak truth to yourself (read more about how to be a calm mom here), and be sure that you’re practicing self-care daily.

You can read about how I suggest practising self-care in this post.

Basically, if you’re deciding that this stage of mothering is not only going to be hard but also miserable…it will be.

It is 100% okay to admit to not enjoying a particular stage of parenting. I’ve totally done that.

However, there’s a difference in acknowledging it and wallowing in it.

Acknowledge the hard and then focus on the blessings and truths. I promise it will make a difference.

Conclusion

I’ve never regretted having two under two. There are pros and cons to it for sure just as there is with any sibling age gap.

There were moments where I questioned my decision, but I thinks it’s wise to never judge yourself in your hardest moments because we often exaggerate things during those times.

Having two under two is a challenge for the first year, but after that I’ve found it to be such a big blessing.

Having them so close in age makes planning activities easier and even keeps costs down when it comes to purchasing kid items.

They play together well and are best friends. They also fight hard. Ha!

Don’t let the challenges of having two under two for the first year be your gauge for how difficult it will be in the future.

I promise, it gets easier!