How to Set a Routine for a 3 Year Old (Real Mom Tips)

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If you’ve never really focused on sleep routines then knowing how to set a routine for a 3 year old can feel really daunting – impossible even.

3-year olds can be so much fun and also a challenge at the same time. For two of my kids, age three has been the year of power struggle.

Not all kids are like that, but having a set routine can really help ground them as they go through so many developmental changes.

If you are looking for a daily toddler schedule for a 3 year check out this post. If you’re looking for sample schedules then click here.

Otherwise, keep reading to find out how to create your own.

Your Answers to How to Set a Routine for a 3 Year Old

Because each child and situation is unique, I think it’s a really good idea to just go by general guidelines.

You see, the only perfect schedule is the one that works for you. Yes, there are important things that should be included in your toddler’s day, but there’s still a lot of room for flexibility.

Once you move past the baby stage where your days are filled with feedings and nap times, it can be a challenge to figure out what to do with all the free time.

Your child isn’t in school yet and play should be their primary form of learning, and yet there’s till great benefit to having some kind of structure to your days.

Having a consistent sleep schedule is still just as important, although there is more flexibility. Good sleep habits help so much with behavior at this age.

Below you will find some tips to help form your own routine for your 3 year old. Take what works and ignore the rest.

Create a Consistent Wake Up Time

From the time my children were newborn babies I have had a consistent time at which we begin our day.

Having a set time to at which your child gets up and starts the day is the first thing I recommend every struggling parent work on.

It is particularly helpful if you’re not a morning person.

If you know what time the days starts then you can plan everything around it.

My children are 6, 4, and 2 and all three of them stay in their rooms until 7 AM every single day.

Of course, the toilet trained kids can use the bathroom and they always know to call or come and get us if something is wrong.

Generally speaking though, my children stay in their rooms until 7 AM.

How on earth do you achieve that?

Use a Toddler Clock

When my now 6-year old was a toddler I bought a second-hand toddler clock (the Gro Clock) for him. We still use it to this day for my younger two kids.

Teaching your child to stay in their room can be done with a little consistency and persistence.

Having a toddler clock isn’t a magic fix for a child who won’t stay in their room, but it is a starting point.

For the sake of keeping this article on point, I’ll keep it brief.

Set clear expectations, use a toddler clock as a visual for them, and then follow through with any consequences you deem appropriate if they don’t stay in their room.

And no, my kids don’t all sleep until 7 AM (they are early risers), but if they wake early they simply read books or play quietly.

Consider Your Daily Activities

This is where things will really differ from family to family. A typical day in my home won’t be the same as in yours.

I homeschool my children and so that is what I plan my toddlers day around. My older kids need me to be available at certain times to do schoolwork with them.

Your child may go to day care or preschool. You may have older children that need dropping off and picking up.

You may work.

These are all things that you need to consider when deciding how your 3-year old’s day will pan out. The whole family needs to be thought about.

Once you’ve created something that works, having predictable routines makes life so much easier overall.

Use Toddler Routine Cards

By age 3, most toddlers are able to start doing some things independently.

For instance, they can clear their own dishes from the table, put clothes in the laundry hamper, and pick an outfit to wear.

Something that really helped my kids was having routine cards somewhere they could easily see.

These ones here are a really great option –> Routine Cards

The idea is that you put them up on the wall and your toddler can follow along and do things themselves in the morning and evening.

It also sets clear expectations so they know what is coming, which ultimately leads to fewer meltdowns.

As a mom of 3, I have found this more helpful the more kids I have.

Be Consistent With Nap Time

A really important part of your 3-year old’s daily routine is going to be nap time.

Now, this age can be a bit tricky with naps so be sure to keep reading to the end to get some more tips about how to deal with it.

Regardless, being consistent with nap time is something I recommend moms of toddlers do. It can feel like a lost cause some day, but it is important nonetheless.

The hours of sleep that your child needs at this age can change quite a bit, so just be aware of that as you plan. It may just mean that they need a shorter nap.

Insist On Quiet Time

Because nap time can be a bit hit or miss for some 3-year olds it is vital that quiet time is made mandatory.

That sounds harsh but I’m serious.

We have quiet time in our home for at least an hour almost every afternoon and it is non-negotiable.

Children need the space to rest and be content in their own company. As a mom, I need the space to rest my mind and be ready to deal with the late afternoon chores.

I suggest you have your child’s room set up so that they can rest and fall asleep if they need to.

Independent Playtime

Independent playtime has long been a favorite parenting tool of mine. It has such incredible benefits and you can read more about it here.

With that said, at age 3 I do not recommend switching out nap/quiet time for independent play. Your child still needs the opportunity to nap if they need to.

However, you should consider having a window of time during the day specifically set aside for independent playtime to happen.

Have a Wind Down Routine for Bed

We often have long, drawn out bedtime routines for our babies but not always for our toddlers.

Having a wind down routine before bedtime can be of great benefit to your child. I would suggest not making it overly long, but instead focus on consistency.

Use the routine cards so they know what to expect. Create a simple bedtime routine for them to follow and they’ll love having some independence.

Bedtime stories are a great way to settle your toddler and have some quality snuggle time.

Having a consistent bedtime routine and bedtime will in turn help to have a consistent start to the day and better sleep overall.

Be Loving But Firm

As I mentioned previously, age 3 has been when my kids have really gone through power struggles.

All of a sudden they’re aware that they have opinions and a will to do the opposite of whatever they’re told.

While I embrace the uniqueness of each of my children and respect their feelings, they also need boundaries.

Boundaries are not cruel. In fact, having firm boundaries gives children the security that they truly long for.

As you create a daily routine for your toddler, remember to be loving but firm as you start to enforce it. It may be challenging at first, but it has many long-term benefits that are worth fighting for.

3-Year-Old Routine After School

Many 3-year olds do attend some kind of daycare and so I feel like it’s necessary to suggest some ideas for an after school routine.

Regardless of when your child gets home, it is important to allow them time to unwind. They will be tired if they don’t take a nap at school.

Even if they do nap, after school is the perfect time to have independent play for a little bit.

If my 3-year old got home from school around 12:30 PM I would do something like this:

Lunch (if they haven’t already had)

• Afternoon Nap or Quiet Time
• Free Play
• Dinner
• Bath
• Bedtime Routine
• Sleep

You might also give a snack after nap time or independent playtime, depending on what works for your family.

Common Causes of 3 Year Old Sleep Issues

So here’s the thing, from around 2.5 to 3 years some kiddos experience a lot of sleep changes.

That doesn’t mean they will never sleep again. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I think we experienced the most disruptions with my eldest and since implementing the things we learnt from him, we’ve not had as many issues with my other two.

Let’s talk about some things you need to be aware of.

Dropping the Nap

Your child’s sleep needs are constantly changing in the first 5 years of their life.

Many 3-year olds drop their nap during this year but it isn’t often a straightforward process.

Some days they may need a nap and some days they won’t.

In some cases, you won’t want them to nap because then they won’t fall asleep until late. It can be stressful worrying about whether or not they’re getting enough sleep.

I suggest you go ahead and read this post about how we dropped the nap all together because it worked really well for us. It is one of the best ways to drop the nap as it allows a lot of flexibility.

Because of the to and fro with naps at this age, enforcing some amount of quiet time is super important. Trust me, it’ll save your sanity.

Potty Training Disruptions

It is common for many parents to choose to potty train their child around age three. That’ll probably be what we do with my youngest – mostly because potty training is one of my least favorite parenting things ever.

Something to keep in mind is that potty training can cause sleep disturbances. So, if your previously good sleeper suddenly forgets how to sleep, potty training could be the cause.

Have patience, be consistent and trust that it will pass.

Milk Before Bed

I’ve never been one to give my kids cow’s milk before bed but I’ve heard from several other moms that it can be the cause of sleep disruptions and night terrors.

If your 3-year old is struggling with nighttime sleep and they have milk before bed, it might be worth dropping it.

Sleep Regressions

Not all children go through sleep regressions, but they can happen. Many sleep regressions can be put down to one thing or another – potty training, for instance.

I recommend you read this post about dealing with the 2.5 year old sleep regression as it gives many great tips for dealing with regressions in general.