What Is The 18-Month Age Gap Between Siblings Really Like?

*This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.*

Having an 18 month age gap between siblings is actually really common. However, it can feel daunting for sure.

I see mamas asking about this often. A mama posts in a Facebook group that she’s just found out she’s expecting baby #2.

They’re going to be 18 months apart and she’s freaking out. What is it like? What should she do to prepare? Is it really as scary as it feels?

Well, I’ve been there and done that, so here are some of the answers to those questions. 🙂 Once you’re done with this post, feel free to hop over to –> THIS ONE to check out my survival tips for 2 under 2!

The Truth About Having An 18 Month Age Gap Between Siblings

While everyone will have a unique experience when it comes to having this particular age gap, I can speak from my own.

The points below are what it was like for me having two babies under two.

#1 You Have Two Babies

Sibling age gaps all have their unique blessings and challenges.

When there’s an 18-month age gap (or less) you would think that you just have two kids, but in reality, in the beginning, you still have two babies.

One is a big baby and the other is a brand tiny new baby.

Depending on where your older child is, they may still require assisted feeding, diaper changes, and carrying around.

Yes, they are entering the toddler phase, but they still have one foot firmly grounded in the baby stage.

This can make things both challenging, and a blessing. Challenging because your workload is bigger, but a blessing because your head is already in the baby mode, so you’re kinda used to it.

It can be easy to think of your toddler as a lot older than what they are. I’m a firm believer in having high expectations of your children but do also make sure that is balanced with realistic ones.

If you have older children then having two babies with a close age gap won’t be as much of a challenge. They’ll be able to help you and that will definitely make a difference to your family life.

Older kids (depending on their age) can help with household chores and be a lot more independent with their own care.

#2 It Isn’t As Hard As You Think

When I was pregnant with my second, I wondered what on earth I had WILLINGLY gotten myself into. How the heck was I going to cope?!

You know what? Adding another child to the family was hard, but it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

With your first child, you tend to have more anxiety and generally question yourself a lot more. By the time the second one comes around, your confidence as a parent has grown.

You realise that babies are more resilient than they seem and that you are capable of more than you ever dreamed.

So yes, having two children close in age is challenging, but probably not as much as you think it is going to be.

I also find it difficult to answer questions based around how challenging certain transitions were.

Whether that’s going from 0-1 child, 1-2, etc. That’s because you change, your family changes, your circumstances change. Plus, each person has different strengths and weaknesses.

And then you learn coping strategies.

When I had just my eldest, I was determined to do everything by myself. I felt as though the responsibility of caring for him as well as maintaining the home was mine and mine alone. I shouldn’t need to ask for help.

You know what? Having two kids close in age changed that for me. I finally realised the importance of sharing the load and the blessing that comes from allowing people to help.

Be mindful of caring for yourself as well as your family and you’ll likely find that having two babies so close together will be well within your capabilities.

Read –> How to Make Time for a Shower: 5 Self-Care Tips for Moms

#3 After The First Year, It Gets Easier

Personally, I find the first year of my children’s lives to be filled with challenges. They can’t communicate their needs all that well, and they go through about a million developmental changes. (Read about the Wonder Weeks –> HERE)

However, after the first year, it starts to get easier.

This was especially true with two kids close in age. I remember when my two started to actually play with each other. It was amazing!

They became best friends and the small age gap really was a blessing.

I didn’t realize how exhausting it was being the sole entertainer to two children. Now that they could play with each other, that took one more thing off of my (loaded) plate.

Once my youngest started walking, it again got that much easier, and now that she’s popping out the occasional word, it is yet easier again.

#4 You Need A Routine

If you do well with sleepless nights, or if both your kids naturally sleep like champs, then I guess you can disregard this.

However, for the vast majority of us, a routine is a saviour when it comes to having two kids close in age.

I do not do well with sleep deprivation. It invokes all kinds of anxiety.

Having my older child in a consistent routine before baby #2 arrived went a long way towards making our days easier.

I tailored the newborn’s routine so that both kid’s naps synced up in the afternoon. Find out how to make that happen in this post –> How to Make Sure Your Kids Nap at the Same Time

There were pockets throughout the day where I was all alone and could breathe before the business of raising two small humans resumed.

Having a routine has meant my sanity has been kept intact, my marriage has remained healthy, and that both of my children were able to develop healthy sleep habits.

It also makes bedtime a lot easier to deal with.

Developing a routine took time and patience, but has paid off immensely. Resources I’ve used are Babywise and Moms on Call (find out more about these –> HERE + HERE) for the most part, but a little of The Baby Whisperer and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

#5 You’ll Have to Take One Day at a Time

It can be easy to fall into the trap of looking to the future and feeling as though the season that you’re in will never end.

The early days with two babies close in age can be challenging for sure.

The arrival of a new sibling is a big change for your older child and it’ll take some time to settle into your new normal.

Your second child is going to be their own person and you won’t know exactly how things will go just based on how your first time was.

Read –> How to Navigate the Seasons of Motherhood

I’m not a huge fan of the phrase “this too shall pass” however there is a lot of truth to it.

Instead of focusing on how long the challenges might last, try to focus on just today and the moment that you’re in.

I’m not going to tell you to enjoy every moment, because we all know that some moments are not enjoyable at all.

However, I would encourage you not to let the joy of today be stolen by the worries you have about tomorrow. And to be completely honest, that is a statement that I need to be reminded of often.

I could write so much more on this topic, but it really is unique to each mama, so I’m not sure that any more would be constructive to you.

However, I hope that what I’ve shared in this post eases your mind somewhat while equally preparing you for what is to come.

#6 Sibling Rivalry Is a Thing

My two kids who are 18-months apart definitely have a lot of sibling rivalry. While that isn’t a given for every set of siblings, it can be more evident when they’re close in age.

I personally believe that in the case of my children it’s because they’re a boy and a girl. They both have first-born tendencies which means there’s a lot of strong wills being thrown around.

My little girl may be the younger sibling but she surely knows her mind and let’s her big brother be aware of that.

Pregnancy With an 18 Month Age Gap

One thing to consider if you’re making the choice to have a small gap between your kids is what pregnancy will be like.

If you have really bad morning sickness or particularly challenging pregnancies, you’ll need to make sure you have a good support system.

Having a very new toddler means that they won’t be able to do much independently yet and you’ll still be relied on for a lot.

My second pregnancy was a lot more challenging than my previous pregnancy. Of course, we made it through but it was definitely hard.

Having babies in close succession can be really hard on your body. Just be sure to take care of yourself well and not to neglect your most basic aspects of self care.

Your next baby may be a breeze and your pregnancy not overly hard, but it is something to be aware of.

The Early Years vs Later On

I feel as though this has to be addressed because it isn’t often talked about when moms chat about having kids close in age.

So often, we focus on what it’s like when we have young children and forget that those years are so fleeting!

Yes, having a small age gap and little children is challenging, but it lasts for such a short while.

It won’t be long before your children are out of the toddler years and all of a sudden, your big kid and your baby have more in common than they do differences.

There are blessings in having children in the same stage. Things like family trips, extracurricular activities, and routines can all be made simpler when your children are close in age.

When they have similar interests and enjoy similar activities, you can easily plan fun outings or buy toys that they will both love.

Having a bigger age gap also has its benefits but there are challenges that come with it too.

A larger age gap may be easier initially, but can become tricky when you have to cater to different stages of life all at the same time.

So What Is the Perfect Age Gap?

As for what the best age gap is or the perfect age gap – I believe that is truly up to each family and their unique circumstances. We all are so very different!

You really just have to evaluate what is going to work best for your family.

The reality is that sometimes we don’t have a choice in the matter. Just because your children are a certain number or months or years apart does not predetermine their relationship.

You are in charge of fostering the kind of environment and relationships you want for your family. No one else has a say in the matter.

Choosing when to have another baby is a personal decision and you will hear good and bad things about whatever your choose no matter what.

I went on to have a third baby and there is a 2 year age gap between her and her older sister. Those extra 6 months really do make a difference, which is kind of crazy.

I still wouldn’t change the gap between my first and second baby because it is special.

There is no right age gap aside from the one that you choose for your family.