8 Problems New Moms Face and Tips to Overcome Them
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Becoming a mom is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but it can also come with a range of challenges. The problems new moms face aren’t really new.
In this blog post, we will talk about how to overcome some of the biggest challenges. As a mom of three, I know how incredibly hard it is when you welcome a newborn baby into the world. It can feel as though your whole world has been tipped on its head.
However, you’re also in love with this tiny little person and so your emotions can be all over the place. That’s not uncommon and it’s something that does get better with time.
When you bring your baby home from the hospital it can feel incredible and also incredibly overwhelming.
Let’s talk about some of the most common challenges new mothers face and what you can do to work through them.
8 Common Problems New Moms Face
I think that it is very normal to feel as though you’re the only one who has ever struggled with the challenges you’re dealing with.
We can assign a whole bunch of guilt and feel like we are doing a terrible job. The truth is, you’re not alone.
I would wager that your struggle has never been unique and that there are many moms out there who would be happy to share their experiences of what helped them.
That’s what I hope this post is for you. I hope it is an encouragement and a practical way to help you through whatever it is you might be going through.
#1 Feeling Overwhelmed and Like You’re Not Doing Enough
This is an age-old problem that tends to run well past the early days of motherhood if you’re not careful.
It’s common to feel like you’re falling short, especially when you see other moms who seem to have it all together. You are not alone in feeling this way and it is perfectly normal. The best thing you can do is try to take things one day at a time and focus on what you need to get done each day.
A really important thing to keep in mind is that we are all unique. We have our own strengths and weaknesses. You might be wonderful at cooking meals for your family while another mom is better at being laid back and going with the flow.
Neither of you is better than the other, you’re just different.
Another thing to factor in is experience. Don’t look at a mom who has been mothering for 15 years and feel as though you can’t measure up.
She’s had 15 years more experience than you.
Be realistic about the stage you’re in and just embrace it.
Motherhood is hard. It just is. It requires everything of us.
The overwhelm doesn’t mean that you’re not doing a good enough job. In the beginning, when you have a tiny newborn, that overwhelm is often born from complete sleep deprivation.
While I can’t say that you won’t have days of feeling overwhelmed in the future, it does get better. You learn your baby, they begin to sleep more, and you figure things out.
#2 Lack of Sleep and Fatigue
Nothing can truly prepare you for the shock to the system that sleep deprivation is. The sleepless nights are hard and can be one of the greatest challenges for a new mom.
You will be exhausted like you have never been before and it will feel as though there’s no end in sight. I remember feeling so utterly despondent and felt as though I would never again get enough sleep.
There are a few things that can help though.
First, try to take naps when your baby naps if you can. It won’t be the best sleep you’ve ever had, but it’s better than nothing.
You won’t always be able to sleep when the baby sleeps. In fact, it can become grating to hear people tell you to do that all the time.
However, if you can, you should. Truly.
Be proactive about taking a rest when you get the opportunity. Ask for help and never turn it down unless absolutely necessary.
Personally, I found the sleep deprivation a lot easier to handle the more kids I had. I think this is because you know it’s not forever. So much of it is simply a mental game.
If you have someone who can take turns caring for the baby, then set up a system so that you’re both getting a least a bit of rest.
When I had newborns, my husband would take care of them until around midnight. I went to bed early so I got a few hours of sleep.
With one of my babies, I expressed breast milk for a bottle for that time when I was asleep. For my others, we used formula. Do what works for you and your baby.
All of my babies started sleeping longer stretches around 8-10 weeks. I used Babywise and Moms on Call to gently introduce a routine. This helped hugely! Getting a full night’s sleep feels impossible, but it will happen again.
#3 Postpartum Depression or Baby Blues
There are very few women who go through the postpartum period without feeling some mood swings.
For some, it’s more extreme and can be classified as postpartum depression. If you even suspect you have this, please don’t wait to go and see someone about it. Talk to someone, anyone you trust. Your mental health is so vital to take care of.
The baby blues are very common and usually last anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks.
You might feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster ride, crying one minute and then feeling perfectly fine the next.
It’s important to recognize your feelings and make space for them where you can.
I always had the baby blues when my milk came in around day 3. Because I knew what it was, I would just decline any visitors that day and spend the afternoon watching my favorite movies while cuddling my baby.
After a couple of days, the feeling would pass and that was always a relief.
When you think about the hormonal changes your body goes through, it’s no wonder our emotions are all over the place! Add to that the sleep deprivation and you’ve got yourself an impressive combination.
Be gentle with yourself. This is just a season and it does get better.
#4 Breastfeeding Issues
Breastfeeding issues are more common than not. If you’re having a hard time with it then you’re not alone.
I have yet to meet a mom who didn’t have at least some problems in the beginning. There are a lot of common struggles first-time moms face with breastfeeding.
The good news is that there are loads of resources out there to help you.
There are lactation consultants, online forums, and even support groups in most cities.
If you’re having trouble, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. You’re not alone and you’re not a failure in any way shape or form.
You don’t have to be a perfect mother to be a good mother.
Painful feedings aren’t normal, but they also aren’t uncommon. Your milk supply can also be a stressor. If you can get in to see a lactation consultant then do it! They’re a great help.
I was someone who only breastfed my first baby. My other two ended up on formula from almost day one. It was the very best thing for them because I was a less stressed, and a more pleasant mom.
You make the decision that is right for you and don’t let anyone’s opinion override that.
Some things that helped me when I was breastfeeding were these:
We’re kind of led to believe that mothering and all that goes with it should be something that comes naturally to us.
That wasn’t necessarily the case for me and I have always been very maternal. You’re not alone if you’re feeling as though all of this is very new and foreign.
It gets much easier in time and you will grow in your confidence.
#5 Juggling Work and Motherhood
Motherhood is more than a full-time job in and of itself so it’s no wonder women struggle with adding a formal job into the mix as well. Going from being a working mom to a stay-at-home mom can be quite an adjustment. Then there’s dealing with the transition back to work.
I think we often deal with a barrage of emotions and mixed feelings.
On one hand, we feel guilty for leaving our babies in the care of someone else.
On the other hand, we miss the structure and challenge work provides.
It can be hard to find a balance that works for you but it’s important to try.
Again, you’re not alone in this.
I haven’t personally had to work outside of the home since becoming a mom, but I have worked from home. There are still many challenges to be faced. Finding time to work while also giving your baby and other children the attention they deserve is hard.
I often found myself working into the night after they went to bed or getting up super early in the morning so I could get a few hours in before they woke up.
It wasn’t ideal but it was what I had to do to make it work.
There are no easy answers when it comes to this one. Keeping your priorities front of mind can really help.
It was after having my second baby that I began blogging. It gave me a sense of achievement on the days when everything else seemed to fall apart. Blogging has become a good income source for our family, but most importantly, it is a wonderful creative outlet for me.
#7 Dealing with Constant Criticism from Others
Thankfully, I’ve had little to no experience with this. However, I know that there are many new moms out there who deal with this as a constant in their lives.
It can come from well-meaning family members, friends, or even strangers.
It’s important to remember that you are the one who knows your baby best.
You are the expert on your child. You know the needs of your baby and the best way to care for them.
No one else has the right to tell you how to raise them or what you’re doing wrong.
You’re going to make mistakes, we all do! That doesn’t mean you’re not the perfect person to be the parent of your child.
Sometimes, when I find that I’m feeling overwhelmed and discouraged by the influence of others, I really focus on surrounding myself with the things I want to be influencing me instead.
Social media can leave us feeling deflated and discontent. Be very careful about what you’re letting into your mind. It makes a big difference.
#8 Body Image Issues
Even the best of us can succumb to this one. A lot of mothers struggle with their postpartum body.
The changes your body goes through during and after months of pregnancy are incredible.
Your skin stretches, your belly grows, your breasts change, and you might even end up with some stretch marks.
All of these things can be hard to come to terms with.
I remember feeling so self-conscious after the birth of my third child. The mom pooch was there even though I wasn’t overweight. It took time to come to terms with the fact that my body was forever changed.
Don’t dismiss those feelings. It’s important to acknowledge them and then speak truth to yourself.
Everyone’s experience with this is going to be different, but focusing on being healthy instead of what you look like or your weight is definitely the right approach to take.
After my first baby, things bounced back pretty quickly. However, by the time I had my third (in 4 years!), my body was tired.
It took a lot longer for me to feel confident. I would tell you that I bounced back, but I didn’t. I don’t have the same super slim and muscular body I did as a 22-year-old woman.
I’m not overweight but my body is forever changed. That’s what motherhood does and it’s beautiful when we finally accept it.
Summing it Up
There are so many things that a new mom experiences and has to learn and deal with. I wish I could make it easier on each one, but the reality is that we all have to go through it.
We have to go through it and learn a little more about who we are and how we can grow.
Motherhood is the most intense refining process. It has the potential to turn us into better people if we let it.
If you’re not a new mom, I encourage you to reach out to the new moms that you know. The lack of community is a big issue right now. In fact, feeling as though you’re doing it all alone may just be the hardest part.
New moms are often alone as they learn to fit into the new role they’re now in. This is true for moms with support but especially for the single mom. Be the encouragement you would like to have. It’ll make a difference.
